


Romance and Rebellion

by chinateacup



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Bisexual Owada Mondo, Disordered Eating, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Ishimaru Kiyotaka, He/Him Pronouns for Fujisaki Chihiro, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Owada Mondo Swears, Panic Attacks, Pining Taka, Pre-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Taka has sensory issues, Teen Romance, Underage Drinking, and his mom is dead sorry, he's got it bad ok, its pretty mild don't worry, makoto has a little scene, not really explicitly taka is just bad at taking care of himself, the others are in it in passing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28875342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chinateacup/pseuds/chinateacup
Summary: Kiyotaka Ishimaru had never broken a single rule in his life. However by the end of one night, he could truthfully say that he had climbed out of a window, ridden a motorcycle with no helmet, participated in underage drinking and lost hours of his valuable study time with very little resistance. His kyoudai could be irritatingly persuasive when he wanted to be...
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Naegi Makoto, Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Oowada Mondo, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, Kuwata Leon & Oowada Mondo
Comments: 64
Kudos: 265





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is not only my very first time writing for this fandom, but the very first time publishing on AO3! 
> 
> I got into Danganronpa in October 2020 when the Game Grumps started playing it, and it's safe to say that I completely fell in love with these two before the canon proceeded to smash my heart into a million tiny pieces. So yeah, fuck that noise, everyone is happy now. I'm still learning the ropes so please be kind - I welcome any criticisms and apologise for any typos :)

A shadow was suddenly cast across his textbook, the desk bathed in a rich orange light, and Kiyotaka blinked. Had the sun started setting already?

He dipped his head ever so slightly, and closed his eyes. They felt heavy, which was unsurprising. He had started working at eleven – in fact, he specifically remembered the time because it was when third period ended that Makoto had invited him to the arcade with him, Leon and Hiro. Taka had declined, and went on to explain the importance of their biology exam next week, how he needed to dedicate every moment he had into his studies, as the subject was a weak area of his, and besides, even if that wasn’t the case, he had an aversion to the sensory experience that came with an arcade, what with the lights and the shouting and the music, and quite frankly, he was concerned about Makoto’s seemingly cavalier attitude about the exam himself –!

“Okay, okay!” Makoto had raised his hands in defeat, shrugging his backpack over his shoulder. “I get it, Taka, it’s fine.”

Taka’s brow furrowed. “It’s ‘fine’ that the three of you should waste your limited study hours? Not to mention your pocket money! Those games are designed so winning is near impossible; by choosing to go to an arcade, you’re consenting to being politely mugged!”

Makoto smiled, chuckling fondly. “Guess that’s one way of looking at it. You don’t need to worry about my grades, though. I’m actually kinda good at biology, so this test isn’t that a big a deal for me.”

“Ah.” Taka nodded stiffly, holding the door open for him as they left the classroom. “Well, I suppose that’s understandable.”

“But, uh…” The luckster lowered his voice slightly, now the corridor was flooded with fellow students. “If it’s the money that’s the problem, you know I’m happy to spot you. I know that you’re a little…” He trailed off awkwardly. “But my parents gave me an advance on my allowance so…?”

“No!” Taka responded, louder than he had intended. No one seemed to pay him any mind. They’d gotten quite used to the hall monitor’s intensity. “No, thank you, Makoto. I really must get going. But I hope the three of you enjoy the arcade, despite the significant likelihood of your personal loss!” He smiled widely before speeding off in the direction of the library.

“And you’d still say no if I said Mondo might swing by?” Makoto called after him.

Taka barked a laugh. “I’m afraid so!”

There was a lot he would do for his kyoudai, but there were simply more pressing matters at the moment. He could see him anytime.

Taka exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose, shifting so his joints popped and creaked. He hadn’t moved in hours, not even for a bathroom break. Was he hungry? He wasn’t sure. He was, however, exhausted… sleep deprivation was more detrimental to his education than it was helpful. Taka had learned that the hard way. He was embarrassed to admit that he’d spent his nights staring up at the ceiling, hands folded on his stomach, and mind churning about whatever topic he had to go over again the next morning. Mitosis, Miosis, Animal and Plant Cells, Adaptation, Asexual Reproduction…

By the time his alarm chirped, he’d barely come close to sleep, and it was starting to show. His skin had a yellow, waxy hue he’d never had before, and the circles under his eyes were dark purple. Taka briefly wondered why Makoto hadn’t mentioned it, but remembered the soft tone with which he’d recalled Taka’s financial woes. The boy was too polite to draw attention to such a thing.

Closing the thick textbook, he let his head nod forward completely, resting it on the table.

“Fuckin’ finally.”

Taka let out a yelp, and the boy across from him cursed loudly. Mondo clutched at his chest, fingers bunching in the fabric of his shirt. “Fuck, man, ya can’t be doin’ that shit to me! I got a family history of heart attacks!”

“Kyoudai, how long have you been sitting there?” Taka managed to get out, palms splayed over his own chest in a futile attempt to slow his pulse.

“I dunno, like, ten minutes?” Mondo shrugged. “I figured I’d wait for ya to close the damn book. Wouldn’t wanna get my eyes clawed out for interrupting a master at work,” he teased gently, a smirk tugging at his lips.

Taka scoffed. “Don’t be silly. The library is for silent study. That would be highly inappropriate.”

“Don’t stress, I was kidding.” The taller man leaned over the desk, tilting his head so that ridiculous hair brushed Taka’s chin. “Biology?” He slouched back into his seat. “What the hell ya studying biology for? You’re great at biology!”

Taka felt his face flush. “Well… I am getting A’s consistently…”

Mondo arched a brow.

His face flushed darker. “I was hoping for an A+.”

The resulting groan was so dramatic that he feared Mondo got whiplash from throwing his head back so hard. “You are such a fucking dork.”

“Language,” Taka muttered back, but like the insult, it had no real heat to it. 

Mondo muttered something under his breath, before his eyes came up to study Taka’s face. The latter tried not to squirm under the scrutiny. “Kyoudai, you look like shit,” he said bluntly. “Are you resting like… even a bit?”

“Not really,” Taka confessed. He bit his lip when Mondo sucked his teeth disapprovingly. “But that’s alright! I have coffee to keep me going. As a Hope’s Peak student, it’s only right that I dedicate myself so completely –”

“You can be a dedicated student without killing yourself over it, y’know.” Mondo’s voice was low and serious in a way it rarely was, and Taka swallowed against the fluttering that stirred in his chest. He had grown accustomed to the feeling, the more time he spent with Mondo. It didn’t make it any less confusing.

“Alright,” Mondo slapped his thighs, jumping to his feet. “Get up. Put your crap away.”

“What?” Mondo snatched the textbook, shoving it unceremoniously into Taka’s bag. He felt himself cringe at the thought of creased pages. “Why? The library doesn’t close until seven.”

“It’s 6:45, Taka,” Mondo grabbed the other man’s wrist, holding his watch up to his face to illustrate his point. “I’m takin’ you out tonight.”

It took every bit of Taka’s willpower not to latch on to the possible implications of that statement. “O-Out?”

“Yeah, out. Off campus. Heard of it?” Mondo shot him a wolfish grin, slinging the bag over his shoulder. “If ya don’t get a break from this place pretty fuckin’ soon, your head’s gonna explode.”

Taka swallowed when his friend put a firm hand on his lower back, steering him towards the door and into the warm evening air. “We’re not going to that arcade, are we?”

“Nah,” Mondo shook his head. “I told Makoto not to invite you, but the guy’s too nice for his own good. Figured that wouldn’t be your thing. It’ll be lowkey, yeah? No flashy lights or music or nothin’.”

“I…” Taka’s voice died in his throat. “Thank you, Mondo. That’s very considerate of you.”

The larger man coughed, and Taka noted the light dusting of pink on his cheeks, feeling himself smile involuntarily.

At the beginning of their friendship, if you had asked Taka what his favourite of Mondo’s expressions was, he would have likely awkwardly responded something about that smirk of his, how his brows creased together and his teeth grazed his lip when he was concentrating hard, perhaps how if you caught him with his guard down, talking animatedly about whatever was getting him excited that day, his grin would grow and grow until his face was all scrunched up, his eyes huge and round despite the thick make up, and he looked quite boyish. 

But now, Taka was certain that he absolutely adored seeing Mondo blush. He knew he could flush quite easily from praise or compliments, and he quickly worked out the exact right buttons to push to tip him over from slightly pink to a rather fetching shade of red. Taka could remember the first time Mondo had bashfully shown him one of his strongest pieces of carpentry – a tiny dog carved from a cube of dark wood. 

“Kyoudai…”

“Yeah, I know, it’s shitty.” Mondo had been shifting from one foot to another in the art room, rubbing the back of his neck and pointedly looking away from his friend. “I’m still new to this stuff and – ”

“It’s wonderful!” Taka had exclaimed, already feeling tears well up in his eyes and cupping his hands so the dog was nestled between them safely. “It’s the most fantastic piece of art I’ve ever seen!”

“Come on, man, ya don’t gotta sugar coat it,” his friend muttered. “I made the ears too small and the legs don’t match up right.”

“You’re absolutely correct, the anatomy is poor.” Taka smiled up at him. “But woodwork is new to you! You’ve been working so hard to achieve this, and you’ll continue to work hard and improve until you’ve got it perfect. Anything that takes time and effort is worth doing, so long as you are willing to try! I am so incredibly proud of you, Mondo!”

Oh, Taka had wished he’d had a camera with him at that moment, because the blush that lit up Mondo’s cheeks had been sublime. It spread from his neck all the way up to the tips of his ears, and he spluttered uselessly, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. It was painfully adorable, and it took everything Taka had not to press their lips together and feel his blush deepen.

Even then, the final straw that truly solidified Taka’s certainty of his feelings towards his best friend was Leon Kuwata of all people. He had no idea what they were discussing in the cafeteria that morning, but when he arrived to make himself his usual cup of coffee, he and Mondo were lost in conversation. The latter looking vaguely embarrassed, the former cackling like a hen.

“Good morning, kyoudai! Good morning, Kuwata!” Taka greeted them in his usual fashion. Mondo nodded slightly in return, and Leon snickered, whispering something directly in the other’s ear. 

Whatever he had said, it apparently had its desired effect, as Mondo’s face turned the colour of cherry juice, and it only made him laugh harder.

“Are you quite alright, Mondo?” Taka frowned at his friend, moving close to press his fingers against his forehead. “You look flushed. Are you getting sick?”

“No!” Mondo yelled, eyes firmly fixed on the floor as he clattered to his feet. “I mean – yeah! I…” His voice died with a strangled sound in the back of his throat. “Fuck off, Kuwata,” was all he could spit out, before storming from the cafeteria and slamming the doors behind him.

Taka blinked. “What was that about?”

Leon just snorted, waving him off with one hand. “Don’t worry about it, Hall Monitor.”

Later that day, Taka had stopped by the dorms with lunch and cold medicine for his friend, however he never did find out what they were discussing that morning. He’d tried to briefly broach the subject, but Mondo would just shake his head and steer the conversation somewhere else. He had always been very good at distracting Taka; both on purpose and by simply existing nearby.

“Kyoudai?” Mondo was waving a hand in front of his face, his other arm slung around his shoulders heavily. “You alright, man?”

“Oh, I… yes, I’m alright!” Taka smiled shakily. Mondo’s eyes scanned his for a moment, and Taka had the irrational thought that he was in fact the Ultimate Telepath, and was about to sprint a mile in the opposite direction. He was sure the other man would be extremely disturbed to discover the intensity with which Taka dwelled on his face.

“Shit, you must really be beat,” was all Mondo said, chuckling. The arm on his shoulders tightened, and they turned a corner, leaving the school’s campus. “Alright, we gotta swing by your place first and get you outta those clothes.”

Taka almost choked. “W-What?”

Mondo gave him an odd look. “I know, I know, you’re a full time student and it would be stupid to wear anything else, blah blah blah. But you once told me studying is a psychological thing, and I can’t work while in pyjamas. Shouldn’t the same go for relaxin’ in your uniform too?”

“I… suppose…” He cast his eyes downward. “But I don’t own any other clothes.”

“Then lose a few buttons, roll up the sleeves, I dunno.”

Taka spluttered uselessly, appalled. “You must be joking! I’ve given out weeks’ worth of detention for less!”

“We’re not on school grounds, stupid!” Mondo’s hand came up to ruffle his hair. “You ain’t got no halls to monitor out here. You can chill out.”

“I can?”

“Of course ya can!” He yelled like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “What, ya never let ya guard down even a little before?”

“I…” Taka bit the inside of his cheek, brows drawing together. “I don’t… think I’m even capable of relaxing. I never learned how to.”

There was a moment of stunned silence, before Mondo barked a laugh, slapping Taka’s back. “Well, now ya got me! Trust me, kyoudai, I’m a fuckin’ relaxation expert. I’ll teach ya everything ya need to know!” His accent became more exaggerated, as it often did when he got excited, and he was smiling so proudly that Taka had no choice but to smile back.

He didn’t live far from the school, and in a matter of minutes, they were outside Taka’s apartment building. He suddenly went still.

“What?” Mondo frowned. 

“My father doesn’t like me going out in the evenings,” he realised, voice quiet. 

This wasn’t the first time a friend from Hope’s Peak had invited him on an impromptu outing. Hiro often asked him to tag along to ‘Smash Night’ (later clarifying it was some kind of fighting game). Hina and Sakura liked to get ice cream on Fridays, and of course Mondo was always trying to get him on his bike one way or another, coercing him with promises of helmets and protective coats. Taka knew it was all a trick; he’d never once seen Mondo wear any kind of safety gear.

But still, his stomach dropped when every time he would ask his father for one evening out with these newfound friends, he would frown, twisting his lip and inquiring about the status of his schoolwork. Taka hated to lie to him, so would clarify that yes, while he did have schoolwork, it wasn’t anything that required his immediate attention, and that a few short hours spent with his friends was surely not detrimental to his studies. Right? 

…Even as he said the words he’d doubted them. Taka had talked himself out of it before his father could even start to. His classmates were kind enough to feign disappointment when he turned down their invitations, but Mondo always looked genuinely upset. It made Taka’s chest hurt.

The taller man hummed for a second, before brightening. “That’s your room, right?” He pointed at a window on the second floor. Taka nodded. “There’s a drainpipe right under there. You could shimmy down that no problem with those arms of yours.”

Taka eyes widened like saucers, and he was about to start ferociously declining, when Mondo smiled. “Look, it’ll be fine. You get so wrapped up in your studying, he won’t even notice you’re gone. Don’t ya wanna hang out tonight?”

The sun had completely set now, the evening sky a rich, dark blue with just a hint of burnt orange on the horizon. Mondo stood illuminated by a dull streetlamp, his expression hopeful and his hands fisted in excitement, and the decision was made for him. 

“Okay,” he agreed, and his friend punched the air, squeezing Taka’s shoulders before bounding down the street like a puppy. “Where are you going?”

“I’ve just gotta grab something, ‘kay? Meet ya out front in ten!”

“Mondo, if you return with that death trap you call a motorcycle–!”

“Can’t hear ya, I’m too far away!” He sprinted out of sight, and Taka sighed fondly. When Mondo wasn’t making scary faces and cracking his knuckles with a snarl, the man could be adorably persuasive. 

Taka’s hands shook as he entered the apartment complex, his heart hammering so fast he could barely put the key in his own front door. He was sneaking out to meet with Mondo. He was climbing out of his window like a teenager in a high school movie. It was terrifying. He was excited. 

“Good evening, father!” Taka greeted him the same way he always did, hoping his voice didn’t shake and betray him. The dorms at Hope’s Peak were nice and clean, and a lot more spacious than the tiny apartment the two of them shared. But it was familiar, and it was homey, and Taka liked it. He slept in the dorms when he truly couldn’t face the walk, or if his work demanded he remain on school site; it didn’t seem that his father had a preference either way, but he seemed to like seeing him come home.

“Hey, Kiyotaka.” His father nodded from where he sat in the armchair. His heavy eyes were set on the television, flicking through the news channels. 

“I trust you had a good day at work?”

“It was fine, thanks,” he stifled a yawn. “Busy. And yourself?”

“Very productive, thank you!” Taka smiled, and his father returned it, chuckling. “I’m just going back to my room,” he said stiffly, motioning to his school bag. 

“You studying?”

“I have a biology exam next Tuesday.”

“Good lad,” his father nodded approvingly, giving Taka’s arm a supportive pat when he manoeuvred around the tiny living area to get to his bedroom. He shut the door before sitting on the edge of his bed, staring down at the discoloured carpet. 

He felt guilty. It would be easy to reason with himself that he had no reason to feel guilty; he had not technically lied to his father. He did have a biology exam. He had gone back to his room. He had simply failed to mention that he would soon be leaving the room to spend time with his high school crush.

Crush. Even thinking of the word made Taka’s face warm and his arms ripple with goosebumps. It was such a juvenile concept, something a schoolboy would feel for a pretty girl on the playground.

Though, he was a schoolboy, he supposed… it was rare that Taka felt his own age. It was ridiculous when he thought about it, but Mondo had the unique ability to make him feel as young as he actually was. Not like a harried business man barrelling towards a nervous breakdown.

Remembering his promise of returning in ten, Taka stood from the bed, and looked at his reflection in the small mirror on his dresser. Prim and proper, not a hair out of place. Mondo wouldn’t stand for it.

Digging through his closet, old uniforms and clothes he’d since grown out of, Taka found a dark red bomber jacket, previously owned by his father and thrown in his direction a few months prior. 

“I haven’t worn this since I was a kid,” he had remarked, voice tinged with nostalgia when he discovered it at the bottom of his dresser. “Here, you take it. Looks about your size.”

Taka had started to turn down the offer, when his father shoved it into his arms, giving his wrist a squeeze. “You’re not going to be a student forever, Kiyotaka. I’m sure you’ll find a use for it someday.” He laughed a little. “I was wearing that when I met your mother. Trust me, girls like it when you dress up nice.”

Taka wondered now if the same was true of boys too.

He turned the jacket over in his hands. The zip was gold, and the patch on the sleeve was a black horse against a blue background. Was it a brand? He didn’t recognise it. Taka laid it out on his bed, before carefully removing his school blazer, hanging it behind his door. 

He looked in the mirror once more. Without the blazer he looked less like a student, but the crisp button up wasn’t exactly casual wear. He looked more like he should be working in an office than monitoring a hallway, and Taka wasn’t convinced that was an improvement. Experimentally, he popped the first button. Hm, better… He opened another so his collarbone was just visible. 

Why did he feel so embarrassed? This was his own body he was looking at! He could comfortably hang off his crush’s arm while both shirtless, but exposing his own neck felt like too much!? 

Taka didn’t have time to dwell on the subject, and quickly shrugged on his father’s oversized jacket, running both hands over his hair so it appeared slightly more unkempt. 

The mirror stared judgingly back at him. He didn’t own any other boots or pants, but from the waist up, he looked… the most casual he’d been in years. Recalling his father in his neat officer’s uniform and (begrudgingly) his grandfather in a crisp suit, he certainly didn’t look like an Ishimaru.

Did… he look like himself?

Taka smiled. A genuine one, not the carefully practised grin he wore when he felt he should be smiling. 

He looked happy.

The window opened without too much struggle, and Taka took a breath, clambering out one foot at a time. He straddled the window sill, kicking out with his right leg to find a good foothold on the drainpipe and pushed on it a few times, testing its strength. His room wasn’t too high off the ground. If he was tall or strong like Sakura, he probably would have just dropped down and risked the damage to his ankles. Unfortunately, Taka was not, and he refused to risk slipping and getting his school pants dirty.

Climbing down was a lot harder than he had expected it to be. He’d heard of people doing it all the time in movies; those movies failed to mention the sheer amount of upper body strength needed to keep a strong hold, or how your fingers went numb if you pressed against it to hard. It was a miracle he reached the ground without falling flat on his face.

Taka stuffed his hands in the jacket’s pockets, trying to get his breathing under control, and stood waiting on the sidewalk outside the complex. He checked his watch. It had been longer than ten minutes. He was late.

The thrum of a familiar engine nearby made Taka groan, closing his eyes shut. He knew it, he knew it, he knew it! Of course he was using this as an excuse! Taka had essentially given him permission to do whatever he wanted with him that evening – why did he ever assume the bike would be left out of it?

Mondo slowed on his approach and smiled, coming to a stop where Taka stood. His hair was free of its usual style, and was instead pulled back into a bun. “Hey, you look great!” He remarked, nodding approvingly at Taka’s outfit. “Love the jacket, is it yours?”

“I’m sorry, I’m waiting for Mondo Owada? Eye make-up, large pompadour?”

Mondo looked vaguely flustered at the unexpected teasing, rolling his eyes. They looked softer without the eyeliner. Less like he was constantly glowering. “Fuck off. This hair’s just easier to ride with, alright?

“Kyoudai, you are sorely mistaken if you think I’m getting on that bike.”

Mondo held up a hand to silence him, and reached into one of the large side bags, looking terribly proud of himself. A blue helmet was shoved in Taka’s hands, with a clear visor that looked like it could be flipped up and down. Why would anyone chose to flip it up? Wouldn’t your eyes dry out?

“Did you bring two?”

“Uh, hello?” Mondo jerked his collar. Taka didn’t know why he hadn’t noticed it before, but he had abandoned his usual Crazy Diamonds coat in favour of a thick, leather jacket, with a few round studs on the shoulders. The collar was smaller, giving Taka an unobstructed view of the man’s neck. The look suited him, and Taka indulged by giving his throat another once over, before returning to Mondo’s face, which was curled in a ridiculous expression. “See somethin’ ya like?”

“I like it,” he responded bluntly, “however it would be a great deal safer if you were to wear both a helmet and leathers.”

“We’re gonna be safe, alright?” Mondo’s voice changed slightly. “I don’t ride like an asshole anymore. I’ve got this.” His brow creased for a moment, before his playful tone returned in full force. “Besides, I thought you were on an impulsive streak tonight? Climbing outta your window, sneaking out under your old man’s nose… I mean, if you’re not brave enough to ride then…”

Taka stiffened as the competitive side of him was nudged. 

Dammit. Mondo knew him too well.

And he clearly knew it, as he let out an enthusiastic yell when Taka swung one leg over the seat behind him. “Fuck yeah!”

“I changed my mind of my own accord!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Mondo giggled, brimming with excitement. “Alright, so you’re gonna wanna hold on to me tight. We’re gonna be going fast.”

“We will be going at the speed limit, and not a mile over.”

“Uh uh, none of that. Tonight, you’re turning that big brain of yours off. Come on, you trust me, don’t ya?” He smiled over his shoulder. Taka didn’t even have to think.

“Yes.”

“Then hold on tight.” Mondo revved the engine a few times, and Taka yelped, earning a throaty laugh from his friend. Taka grumbled in return and shoved the helmet over his head, before wrapping his arms around Mondo’s middle like a hug, chest pressed against his back. He felt warm. Taka smiled.

Then Mondo flipped up the kickstand, twisted his wrists, and peeled away from the pavement.

He was kind enough to go slow at first; Taka was sure if he was alone, he’d be hitting 90 already. But the speed increased steadily, and as it did, Taka became more and more short of breath, clutching onto Mondo a little tighter. He couldn’t hear much in the helmet, but he felt the other chuckle at that. 

They were alone on the road, the city lights and streetlamps casting blurry reflections onto the wet tarmac. The roar of the engine should have distressed him, but the constant thrum was almost comforting. Mondo’s torso was solid against his chest. He felt him exhale blissfully, still laughing, and Taka could just picture the grin on his face. When he lifted his visor, the lights became clearer. He could see the stars above them, scattered across the sky like glitter. He couldn’t help but feel he was missing a part of the experience… what was Mondo doing that he wasn’t?

The bike slowed as they came to a corner, and Taka took the opportunity to snake one arm further around Mondo so he could let go with the other, yanking the helmet off and stuffing it in the side bag before he had a chance to think about what he was doing.

The engine immediately became louder, the rush of wind in his hair was overwhelming, and Mondo’s speed faltered just slightly.

“Did ya just take off yer helmet!?” He yelled over the bike.

“I did!” Taka felt like his heart was slamming against his ribcage, about to burst and shatter into a thousand pieces. 

“Holy fuck, bro!” Mondo blared his horn and cheered like Taka was a rock star, laughter bubbling from his chest.

Taka laughed as well, breathlessly. He clutched his arms around Mondo’s chest so he could hold himself up against his back, resting his head above the other’s shoulder. The road beneath them was a blur. He felt tears on his face. How fast could they be going? Taka didn’t know. Didn’t matter. His cheeks had never hurt from smiling before. 

They reached a quiet spot near the edge of the city, and the bike rolled to a stop, both men panting and giggling. Taka didn’t release his grip on Mondo until he finally spoke. “…So how did ya like it?”

“I loved it!” Taka gushed, standing and wiping tear tracks from his face. “I can’t… even describe it, I…!”

“Yeah, nothing in the world like it,” Mondo lips looked cracked and dry, most likely from the wind chill, but he tilted his head back and his expression was blissful. “Better than sex.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Taka quipped, too drunk on adrenaline to remember his mouth-to-brain filter. “Thank you, kyoudai. I trust you enjoyed yourself as well?”

Mondo was looking at him with a face he’d never seen before; something between joy and mortification. “Uh, I… Yeah, course I did!” 

Taka sighed, leaning against the bike and resting his head on Mondo’s shoulder. The latter was stiff, but softened under his touch, winding an arm around his waist. 

“…You eaten?” Mondo asked suddenly.

Taka blinked. “No. Not since breakfast.” 

“Alright, well, you already broke federal law by riding without a helmet,” he snorted, “so in that spirit, do you have any weird rules about food and stuff? Like, no fast food or somethin’?”

Taka shook his head. He had no issue with fast food; in fact, it was his go-to meal before he was old enough to cook for himself. It was cheap and it was quick, and calories were calories. He’d take them wherever he could.

Mondo just shrugged and patted the seat behind him, stifling a laugh at how eagerly Taka sat back down. They rode slower this time; less of a thrilling experience, but still enough to send shivers down Taka’s back. The helmet knocked uselessly against the side of the bike. He was sure tomorrow he would look back and be horrified by his reckless behaviour. One wrong move from Mondo and he might be sent flying, head smashed in and face down on the side of the road. Taka wasn’t nervous. He knew that couldn’t happen. 

Was it normal to trust your life in the hands of a crush?

Mondo parked by a brightly lit chain restaurant, and Taka frowned at the menu once inside, his eyes automatically going to the saver section. Mondo tapped on the tablet, making his own order. Taka moved to do the same, which just so happened to be the cheapest thing on the menu. 

Mondo slapped his hand away. “Ow!”

“You’re hungry, dummy. A side’s not gonna fill you up.”

“Maybe it’s what I want,” Taka retorted, face flushing and tapping the screen. Mondo slapped him again. “Mondo!”

“Fuck this,” Mondo reached around him and doubled his order. “I’m treatin’ you, okay?”

Taka considered arguing, but his stomach growled angrily and cut him off. “I… won’t be able to pay you back.”

The biker glanced at him, tapping his card against the reader with an electronic beep. “The hell you talkin’ about? I don’t want ya to pay me back, I’m buyin’ it for ya.”

Taka pursed his lips. “I don’t want charity.”

“It’s not charity, Taka, it’s a favour. We’re kyoudais, that’s how it works.” Mondo snatched two bags from a bored looking cashier and made his way back to the bike, smirking. “It’s how Daiya used to end the day.” His voice was warm, stuffing the food into the one empty side bag. “He’d let me tag along on his rides and then buy me a burger when it got dark.”

Taka watched his eyes turn fond, and then misty, before he coughed and motioned for Taka to sit when he did. “Where are we going now?”

“My place,” Mondo said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “If that’s cool.”

Taka brightened, grinning and jumping on the seat. “Let’s go!”

Mondo chuckled something about him being a weirdo and joined the night’s sparse traffic. Taka had never been into Mondo’s house before, but he’d seen it from the outside the time he had insisted on walking him home after a nasty fight in the hallways – one which even Taka had to admit was no fault of Mondo’s. All he knew was that the boy lived alone, and he slept at the house as often as he could. 

And apparently it was very near the fast food place, as not even minutes later, they were pulling into a garage. Mondo parked beside another bike, one that was slightly larger and covered in a fine layer of dust. He dragged his finger through it, muttering under his breath, before dismounting to yank the garage door closed and grabbing the food in one hand. “So you comin’ up, or you comfortable right where you are?”

Taka glanced over the other bike for moment, before following Mondo past a small kitchen and up a carpeted staircase. The walls were white and empty, the wallpaper yellowing and curling slightly near the ceiling. Upstairs, the hall was just as impersonal. Mondo told him once that he had never had to move house… if this was his childhood home, where were the pictures? Personal effects? It almost felt like a hotel.

Then Taka was steered through an open doorway, and he was almost relieved at the chaos inside. 

Yes, this was definitely Mondo’s room. There were clothes strewn all over the carpet, which was long overdue for a vacuum, the walls papered with posters and magazine clip-outs. Even the bed was unmade, and the table beside it was littered with cosmetics and wrappers and three small framed photos. A fluffy toy dog poked its face out from a half-open dresser.

The only clear surface in the entire room was the desk intended for school work. It irked Taka more than he cared to admit.

Mondo at least had the good sense to look embarrassed. “Uh, yeah I… haven’t had the chance to straighten the place out for a while, but – what the fuck are you doin’?”

Taka slung another pair of jeans over his arm, brushing lint off the denim. “I’m tidying.”

“Well, don’t!” Mondo shook his head, brushing the duvet out flat and sitting on the bed cross-legged. “It’s my room, not the dorms. I keep it how I like.”

Taka’s hands trembled slightly, his fingers itching to organise, to clean. But his stomach growled once again, and he abandoned the laundry in the doorway, mirroring Mondo on the bed. They ate in comfortable silence. Taka couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten so much in one sitting, but he had no trouble finishing. He usually ate until he wasn’t hungry anymore; he wasn’t used to feeling full.

Mondo himself seemed to savour every bite like he hadn’t eaten in years, groaning around every other mouthful. “Thas id so fuggin’ goo’.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full!”

“Bu’ id is!”

Taka shoved his chest lightly, earning a laugh from the other that he thankfully kept his mouth closed for. “Well, when you’re quite finished, would you mind passing my drink?”

Mondo handed him one of the cans, and swallowed while Taka tapped on the lid with his nail to prevent it from bubbling over. He was sure it was a myth, but he’d hate to spill anything on Mondo’s sheets. 

“…Okay, listen,” Mondo said slowly, “I’m gonna make a suggestion that you don’t have to take, alright? I’m not pushin’ or peer pressuring you or nothin’, I just think that you might like it if you tried.” He reached for something under the bed.

Taka felt his eyes narrow. “What is it?”

“Promise not to flip out.”

“What is it?”

“You have to promise first.”

“Kyoudai, tell me you’re not about to offer me drugs.”

“Wha-? No, what the fuck, Taka?!” Mondo spluttered uselessly, holding both hands up. The right one was holding a hip flask. “It’s fucking vodka, not drugs! Are you crazy?”

“Oh! Right, my apologies, I… oh.” Taka trailed off, eyeing the silver flask suspiciously. He was not a heavy drinker. Or a light drinker. Or a drinker at all. Truthfully, being a minor wasn’t much of a factor in that, at least not tonight. He had already broken the law once, and he felt that riding without a helmet was a much more serious offense than underage drinking in the safety of Mondo’s house.

“I’m not havin’ one, if you’re worried,” Mondo quickly clarified. “I gotta take you home n’ stuff. But I can watch out for ya if ya feel weird about… losing control or whatever.”

That was what concerned Taka. Losing control. Being vulnerable. Saying something reckless.

But… with Mondo smiling at him so earnestly, those concerns almost seemed stupid.

Taka hoped he wouldn’t regret this.

“Alright, but just a little.” 

Mondo blinked, but obliged, barely adding a trickle to his open can. Taka sniffed it suspiciously before taking a sip. Then another. “…It tastes the same.”

“Lifehack for ya there,” his friend grinned and Taka sipped it again. “Everything tastes good with cherry coke.” 

Mondo slapped him on the shoulder before standing, gathering up their bags and wrappers and stumbling downstairs, leaving Taka alone in his room. It felt comfortable, being allowed in Mondo’s space. The room was so lived in, and full of old clutter and trinkets from childhood. It smelled like him. 

Taking a long drink, Taka moved a small black bottle from the bedside table to take a closer look at the photo frames that were crammed together. One was of their class on the first day of term, and he scowled. He never had photographed well. Mondo looked great – a little curt, yes, but that was just his resting face. Taka looked rigid, back ramrod straight and standing for attention like a soldier. Well, he had been very anxious that day, he supposed… 

Another photo was of him, Mondo and Chihiro. The two of them were engaged in what looked like a pretty intense video game, while Taka sat between them, dozing off on the sofa. Makoto took the picture, and at the time, Mondo had thought it was hilarious Taka could fall asleep in the middle of their match, and vowed to have it framed. He didn’t think he actually would.

And the third picture showed a young Mondo, no older than eleven or twelve, with a man a few years older than Taka was now, arms slung around each other and grinning into the camera. They looked similar, but the older man’s face was less angular than Mondo’s, his build more soft. Daiya Owada had kind eyes. Taka wondered if he would have liked him.

In two long gulps, he finished his drink and made a hum of disappointment. Alcohol was supposed to make you feel nice, wasn’t it? He didn’t feel any different. Curiosity got the better of him, and he reached under Mondo’s bed, retrieving the silver flask. The lid flipped with a rattle, and Taka took a long drink. 

Swallowed. 

Screwed the cap back on.

Then he recoiled, his entire body succumbing to a shiver that made his stomach clench and tighten. Poison! It was poison! Mondo could gulp down glasses of the stuff like it was no issue – had his taste buds been burned off from years of experience?

Taka heard footsteps coming back upstairs, and quickly replaced the flask back on the ground, returning to his position on the bed. 

Mondo gave him a glance over when he re-entered, motioning to his hands. “Want me to do yours?”

“What?” Taka blinked down, following Mondo’s eyes, and saw he was still holding the small bottle from the bedside table. Mondo held up a hand and tapped a nail, where there was some black polish, albeit chipped and peeling. 

“No thanks, kyoudai,” he said, smiling, “I really don’t think I could pull it off.”

“Eh? Sure ya could,” Mondo fell onto the bed across from him, snatching the nail polish and twisting it open. “It’ll look better on you than me,” he added with a snort, and returned the bottle to the table so he just held the brush. “At least you take care of your nails.”

Taka tried not to blush when Mondo took his hand and started to paint the nail on his index finger. It was true; Mondo’s were all bitten down to stubs with the odd jagged edge. Taka preferred to file his. The sensory experience was a complete nightmare, but it at least meant his hands were presentable.

“I-I mean, you are the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader,” he tried to sound light and casual. “It’s not like anyone’s going to be paying close attention to your fingernails.”

Mondo hummed something, eyes narrowing as he focused. “…Sorry. Not used to paintin’ other people’s.”

The room felt warmer suddenly. Had Mondo turned the heating up while he was gone? He did know that Taka ran cold. Which could be inconvenient, since the other ran extremely hot. He still recalled the struggle he’d faced last Winter of trying to wrestle Mondo into a suitable coat. He wouldn’t even wear the scarf Taka brought for him especially, until Leon stuffed a handful of snow down his shirt. His teeth chattered so loud that he’d been forced to reluctantly wrap it around his neck, grumbling the whole time.

Taka laughed out loud at the memory, and Mondo jumped, before cursing and wiping away some polish that had bled onto the skin. “You okay there?”

“I’m good,” he grinned, still giggling. “Just thinking.”

Mondo chuckled. “Maybe you should leave the rest of your drink. That’s my fault for feedin’ ya a booze, sugar and caffeine cocktail.”

“I finished it.”

He blinked. “Huh?”

“While you were out of the room, I finished it.”

Mondo laughed shortly. “Taka, you’re meant to drink it slow! Otherwise it hits ya all at once and gets yer face all pink.”

“Pink?”

“Yeah, like that,” he poked Taka’s cheek, chuckling to himself. “Don’t worry, I only gave ya a little. You’ll sober up in a sec.”

Taka chose not to disclose his second helping, and scowled, knocking his hand away. Mondo took the chance to take it and start painting the opposite nails. “I am not drunk!”

“Uh huh?”

“I don’t get drunk, Mondo!” Taka sighed, tipping his head back. The room tilted and made him giggle again. “I am the Ultimate Moral Compass. I’m the epitome of goodness and virtue.”

“Is that right?” Mondo smirked. “The epitome of goodness and virtue would sound a lot more convincing if he weren’t slurrin’ every word. And quit swayin’ before you make me fuck up again.”

“Language.”

“Ah good, still you,” he screwed the cap back on the bottle of nail polish. “Well, suspicions confirmed. Booze doesn’t loosen ya up. Still, how do ya like it?” 

Taka held up his hands in front of his face and spread his fingers. They looked longer. They reminded him of Mondo’s. “How do I take it off?”

“Oh. You don’t like it?” Mondo’s accent slipped in his disappointment, and Taka blinked.

“No no no, I do! I love it! I just… for school and stuff…”

“Acetone.” Mondo shook his head smiling. Taka had to smile back. He couldn’t not. Mondo had such a nice smile. He looked so nice when he wasn’t scowling or clenching his jaw or barking something in anger. And even when he was, he didn’t look so bad. Regardless of the expression, he always had a nice face. 

Oh God, stop staring at his face.

Taka groaned, lying on his back so his head hung over the edge of the bed. The room tilted, then spun, then appeared upside-down. He laughed and felt a shift in the mattress, and a moment later Mondo’s head appeared beside him. He ran a hand through his bleached hair, shaking it free from the elastic. “Careful with yer nails, they’re still wet.”

“What time is it?” Taka wondered out loud, and Mondo took his wrist, checking his watch. 

“Almost midnight.”

School started in eight hours. He didn’t want it to. He wanted to melt into the mattress and lie here forever with Mondo’s hand around his wrist. 

Then Mondo let go of him, folding his hands on his stomach and chuckling low in his chest. “I shouldn’t have given you vodka.”

“Still not drunk.”

“I know.” His voice was gentle. “Did you have fun tonight though? I know it’s been kinda outside your comfort zone but…”

“It’s been amazing.” Taka couldn’t stop himself from grinning. “All of it. I’m so full.”

“Full?”

“From dinner.”

Mondo laughed, shoulders shaking where they bumped against his. “What, you never been full before?”

“Not for a while.” Taka said casually. “I don’t eat dinner often. Me and my father sometimes share ready meals in the evenings but those are meant for one person. It’s more than enough to keep you going, but it doesn’t fill you up, not completely. I usually just go to sleep before my stomach notices it should still be hungry. Do you have any other colours of nail polish? Purple would look nice on you.” Mondo had gone suspiciously quiet. “Mondo?”

“Shit man, that’s rough,” was all he said. “I didn’t realise you were that broke.”

“Oh yes, completely.” Taka nodded. “It’s just the way it is. Don’t worry, I always find snacks in the school kitchen. It’s not like I’m wandering ‘round all day hungry.”

“Isn’t your dad, like, a cop or somethin’? Doesn’t he get paid?”

“Most of it goes towards our debts,” he stifled a yawn, rubbing his eyes. “We keep just enough to keep us housed and fed.”

“What about your mom?”

“She died giving birth to me.”

The words hung in the air heavily. Even in his inebriated state, Taka felt the weight of them. The guilt. The responsibility that came with that fact. 

“I’m sorry.” Mondo broke the silence.

“It’s fine.” 

“You never told me that before.”

“I’ve been planning to. Since you told me about Daiya. But the moment never felt right, like I was… sponging off your trauma.” There was another pause between them, and the confession slipped out before Taka could catch it. “Sometimes I wonder if my life was worth hers. If I should have died in her place.”

He heard Mondo swallow thickly, and remembered the photograph he kept at his bedside, the man with the gentle eyes, smiling from beyond the grave. “…I get that.”

“I know you do.”

Taka’s hand reached out automatically, wrapping it around Mondo’s forearm. Mondo placed his other hand over his, squeezing it gently.

“I think that’s why we have to keep trying,” Taka kept talking, not sure if he should be. He wasn’t good at this kind of conversation. “Keep trying to be happy and keep bettering ourselves. So we can keep living for the people who loved us. Their sacrifice wasn’t for nothing.”

Mondo inhaled shakily, and Taka was briefly worried he’d said something wrong, but the other man just chuckled. “I’m so glad you’re not a weird drunk. Would be a shame to lose your essential Taka-ness.” 

Taka laughed too, turning his head, and his smile vanished. “Your hair is so long!”

Mondo arched a brow at him like his blonde curls weren’t loose, fanned out on the carpet below him. Or… above? They were upside-down… “The hell you think was inside the pomp, cotton balls?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never seen it down before.” Taka reached out and ran some between his fingers. If he had been sober, he probably would have asked permission first, but Mondo didn’t seem to mind. “It’s dry,” he said bluntly.

“Yeah, years of bleach and overstylin’ll do that.” Mondo retorted before he could apologise. Taka knew he had long gotten used to his excessively honest remarks, but it didn’t stop him from feeling guilty for them.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Please,” he added in a quieter tone, lips twitching up. His long eyelashes brushed his cheeks when his eyes slipped shut gently, and Taka felt the sudden urge to tangle his full hand in Mondo’s hair, combing the loose curls, rubbing his fingers against his scalp and feeling him exhale slowly against his neck when he drew him into his arms. 

It sent a tiny thrill down his chest that only Taka could see him like this. Without the make-up and the pompadour and the biker jacket that swallowed him whole, Mondo looked lighter. Looked like he felt lighter. He was beautiful like this.

Taka suddenly felt sick. “Kyoudai?”

“Hm?”

“I think I might be drunk.”

Mondo barked a laugh and rolled over to pull Taka right side up. He sat back against the headboard, rubbing his eyes. The lights were too bright in here. “No worries, this won’t last long,” Mondo assured him, rubbing his shoulder in circles. “You just drank too much too fast. It’ll leave your system in a half hour, max.”

“Can you take me home?” Taka asked quietly. His friend’s hand felt a little too nice against his arm.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course. Are your nails dry n’ stuff?” Taka nodded. They felt dry. “And you sure you feel sober enough to hold on?”

“I’ll be fine,” he promised, already standing to leave Mondo’s room. Suddenly being in his space didn’t feel so comforting. It felt… scary. Wrong. He decided didn’t like being drunk.

“Alright, I’m gonna be going real slow,” Mondo said outside his house, setting the helmet on Taka’s head. “And I’m gonna be elbowing you a few times to keep you awake, so look out for that, okay?” He smiled, eyes fond and protective. His hair was tied up again. Taka missed it.

He pressed the side of his head against Mondo’s back for the whole ride, unsure what emotion he was feeling. First he’d been nervous, then ecstatic, then sick, then blissful, then frightened, then they all started shouting over each other, and he couldn’t decide who was being the loudest. 

They crawled to a quiet stop near the apartment complex, and Taka exhaled slowly. Tired. He decided he was tired.

“This is my stop,” he said, out of the habit of riding the bus every morning.

Mondo snickered. “You’re the only one here, dummy, of course it’s yours. So how do you feel?”

Ah, he’d just worked this one out! “I feel tired.”

“Nah, dude, I mean are you still stressed about that stupid test?”

The test… Amongst all the fun he’d had that night, he had completely forgotten about it. “No, I’m not.” Taka grinned, taking the helmet off and rubbing his short hair back in place. “Thank you so much for this.”

Mondo shrugged a shoulder modestly. “I didn’t do shit. I’m just glad ya had fun.”

“I always have fun with you.” Hm. Where did that come from?

“That’s just the booze talkin’,” Mondo muttered, blushing a dark shade of pink. It was lovely. Goodness, he was too lovely. “But we should definitely do that again. For your own good, y’know?”

Taka faltered. “Ah, my own good?”

“Yeah, gives ya a chance to turn yer brain off for a night. Stop all this worryin’ about what’s gonna happen tomorrow or the next day or the next. If ya don’t stop thinking so much, one day ya just gonna snap and do something actually crazy, like… get a neck tattoo or something.”

Stop thinking so much.

“I…” Taka felt his hands start to shake. “Thank you, Mondo.”

Mondo rolled his eyes, leaning back against the bike with his hands in his pockets. “You don’t gotta keep thanking me for nothin’.” 

“Right. Yes.” He shifted on the spot awkwardly. “Oh, uh, here’s your helmet back.” 

He handed it over, and Mondo smiled, setting it down on the seat behind him. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Then Taka’s hands were cupping Mondo’s face, and he was kissing him.

The moment their lips touched, Mondo went rigid, taking a sharp breath through his nose, and Taka let go, stumbling backwards a few paces and already speaking. “Oh my God. Oh my God, I’ve ruined it.”

Mondo’s expression was unreadable. “Hey –”

“Oh my God, what have I done? You’re my best friend. You’re my best friend in the world, and I’ve ruined it!” He was sobbing. Of course he was. “I’ve ruined everything! What’s wrong with me!?”

“Taka, Jesus, slow down. You need to breathe.” Taka felt Mondo’s hands on his shoulders, holding him steady. He kept his eyes screwed shut.

“I’m sorry, I am so sorry, I am so freaking stupid –!”

“For fuck’s sake, Ishi, fucking stop it!” Mondo gripped him tighter. “You gotta calm down. You gotta breathe.”

“I-I…” Taka couldn’t speak anymore. Just stood there gulping down air, fat tears rolling down his face. He must look ridiculous. God, he was so tired. What had he done? 

“Easy,” Mondo said softly when Taka’s breathing threatened to lose control again. Mondo’s arm was around his waist, leaning down so his chin could rest on the shorter man’s shoulder. The sound of his even breaths made it easy for Taka to copy, falling into a familiar rhythm. 

Mondo’s right hand traced patterns on his back through his father’s jacket, and Taka wiped his tears on the sleeve. Oh yes, black nails. He’d forgotten. 

“Are you okay?” 

Taka sniffed. “Yeah. Yes, I’m okay. Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because I just…” Taka cringed, fresh tears threatening to fall. “I am so sorry.”

Mondo sighed. “Shut up with that, I get it. You don’t have to be sorry.”

“I- Of course I do! It was completely inappropriate and unsolicited behaviour!”

“Taka, look, alright, I’m… real confused recently.” Mondo pulled away so he could look Taka in the eye, one hand still on his waist. Once again, their lips were a breath apart. Mondo swallowed. “Uh, can… can I?”

“Can you what?”

Mondo flushed red, eyes turning embarrassingly pleading. “Kiyo, please just…”

Taka closed the distance between them before he could say anything more, fisting his hands in his jacket lapels. Mondo kissed back in earnest, and his arms found his way back around Taka’s waist, fingers digging in almost painfully.

They parted for breath, and Mondo made a low sound in protest, when a light flicked on across the street. He cursed when they heard a door open and a dog’s bark, and Taka tugged his wrist gently. “Here.” He dodged around a wall and into the alley beside the complex he sometimes cut down to go to school.

Taka wasn’t sure how he’d ever see it the same way now Mondo was kissing him feverishly, allowing Taka to lean him against the wall and tangle his fingers in his hair. Mondo sighed, lips parting, and Taka took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. He didn’t have much experience in this area (or literally any at all), but Mondo made a rumbling sound in his chest at the brush of his tongue, and he assumed that was a good thing. “Is this a dream?” Taka whispered against his mouth. 

“I’ll be real fuckin’ pissed if it is,” Mondo replied sharply. Taka beamed up at him and cupped his face, kissing down his cheek and his jaw and noting the way he shuddered when his lips brushed his neck. Experimentally, Taka grazed the same spot with his front teeth, earning something between a groan and a hiss from Mondo. “Shit, Kiyo –”

“Come upstairs,” he said in his ear. 

“What?”

“Upstairs, with me.” Taka repeated. “I want you to.”

“Taka…”

“Or we can take the bike,” he offered. “Go back to your house. Or anywhere. We could stay up riding all night.”

Mondo chuckled fondly, nuzzling into the crook of Taka’s neck. “We’d have to stop sometime.”

“When we hit the ocean,” Taka decided, giggling when he kissed him there. 

“Yeah?” Mondo raised his head, kissing Taka’s temple, down to his cheek. “Then where?”

“I don’t care. Anywhere. America.”

“America?” Mondo grinned.

“Yes, America!” Taka was smiling too, pressing their foreheads together. “We can run away to America. Get an apartment in Los Angeles. You could spend all day doing woodwork while I get an office job.”

“Can we get a dog?”

“Two dogs. The extra fluffy kind.”

Mondo sighed blissfully. “That sounds nice.”

“Jobs don’t give you homework, do they? I’ve never had to fill the time without homework.”

“You’d do fun stuff,” he replied, stoking Taka’s hair absentmindedly. “Go to the beach, play with the dogs. Spend all day letting me kiss you.”

Taka chuckled. “I suppose that doesn’t sound so bad.”

“We could get married there.”

There was a pause where you could have heard a pin drop. 

Taka smiled sadly. “We could.”

It was surprising how quick such a nice moment could come to an end.

They were not eloping to America. Taka had a plan – a rigorously thought out plan, and one that relied on him staying in Japan to do it. Not to mention his school was here, his father, his friends. Mondo had his gang, but with no family or specific prospects he was a lot less anchored to one spot. He could be a carpenter anywhere. Do whatever he wanted. He was brave enough to not need stability.

They weren’t even in a relationship and Taka was dragging him down already.

From the look on his face, Mondo had come to a similar conclusion. 

Taka cleared his throat, slowly releasing him from his arms. “I should really go inside. I should have been asleep hours ago.”

Mondo scratched the back of his head, eyes downcast. “Yeah, probably should.”

“Right, well… I suppose I’ll go then.” Taka felt sick. He wanted to cry again. So he smiled widely, slapping Mondo’s shoulder as the other often did to him. “Thank you for a lovely evening, kyoudai! I shall see you in school tomorrow!”

“Sure. Later.” 

Taka turned and marched away before he could think too much about Mondo’s flat tone. Was he angry? He had every right to be. The buzz the alcohol gave him was wearing off, and now Taka just felt numb as he climbed up the stairs of his complex. They were friends, amazing friends. Mondo was so free and uncaring in a way that Taka could never be. He felt exhausted after a single night of rash spontaneity; it was selfish of him to try and drag Mondo down to his level of mundanity. 

No matter how good it was to feel him kiss back. To know he wanted Taka how Taka wanted him. To feel him smile and laugh against his skin, strong hands holding him in place, steady and safe and warm and… had that all been real? He couldn’t quite process it.

Holding his breath, Taka turned his key in his front door and crept in, scanning the living area. His father was fast asleep in his armchair, the TV still flickering in his thick glasses. He exhaled in relief, turned the TV off, and walked as silently as he could to his room.

“Did you have a good time?”

Oh God.

Taka didn’t turn around, his hand still pressed against the wood of his door. “Yes, thank you father.”

There was a shuffle of fabric behind him as his father turned in his chair. “Where’s your blazer? …Is that the jacket I gave you?”

“Yes.”

“Christ, I haven’t seen you out of uniform in years. Did you have a date or something?”

“I don’t know,” Taka said, because he didn’t.

“Well, did you like her?”

“…Very much.” He hoped his voice wasn’t shaking. “But I don’t think I’ll be seeing her again. At least not in a romantic context.”

His father made a sympathetic noise, and Taka heard him stand, ruffling his hair affectionately before going to his own room. “We’ll talk about it in the morning. Try and get some sleep, Kiyotaka.” He… didn’t seem angry with him. Why was he not angry? Taka climbed out of a window, for goodness’ sake! Were potential dates treated with some separate rule that his friends weren’t granted? He was almost offended on their behalf.

Taka splashed his face with water, brushed his teeth with lacklustre attention to detail, and flopped into bed, staring up at nothing in the darkness. The last thing he wondered before drifting off was whether Mondo’s offhand suggestion in the alley counted as a marriage proposal. 

He wondered if he should have said yes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. First of all, thank you all so much for all the love on part one! I honestly never expected my first fic to get this much attention, since I'm very new to the fandom; I only just started the second game and Gundham is the best character. He makes me miss my dwarf hamsters :( Anyways, back on topic, I'm so happy people enjoyed reading this!
> 
> As promised, here's the second and final part. This one has a TW for panic attacks and vomiting, so feel free to skip if you're uncomfortable with that stuff. Also, y'all like Chihiro? Because we got Chihiro.
> 
> Enjoy!

What the fuck was Mondo meant to do now? 

The whole night was a total blur, and he wasn’t even the one who’d been drinking. Memories of rushing wind, the smell of nail polish, a pair of arms wrapped around his waist and breath against his neck, and Taka, Jesus Christ, Taka.

Mondo sagged against the wall of the alley, sinking his face in his hands. He heard the door to the complex click shut ages ago, and that was probably his signal to go home too, but he wouldn’t move. His body was frozen. 

Taka had just kissed him. Taka had tugged him into the alley, Taka had backed him up against the wall, and it was Kiyotaka Ishimaru, the Ultimate Moral Compass, who had tried to bite his fucking neck before asking him upstairs. And judging by how his voice dropped when he whispered it, he knew exactly what the phrase implied.

Heat pooled in his stomach, and Mondo felt guilty for it. It was a little gross to be making out with his tipsy friend when he was stone cold sober. Taka gave him one quick peck. It should have stopped there. A moment of confusion brought on by beer goggles, totally understandable, something their friendship could one hundred percent survive. But Mondo just had to push it!

He tilted his head back, gritting his teeth. He never should have asked to kiss him again, never should have let him start all talk about a future together, never never never should have said any of that stupid shit about marriage!

It would be easy to say Mondo said it in the spur of the moment, got caught up in the fantasy of it all. But he hadn’t. 

He and Taka started out on a really bad note. His methodical, no-nonsense attitude clashed with Mondo’s instinctive, totally pro-nonsense attitude, and there were times it got ugly. They were both very lucky Mondo hadn’t punched his stubborn ass across the school and killed their friendship before it had a chance to begin. 

But that day in the sauna, the two had their first conversation that didn’t start with a detention slip thrust into Mondo’s hands. They found out they’d made a lot of assumptions about each other – Mondo thought Taka was a private school rich boy who’d never had to grind for a thing, while Taka had found Mondo to be a volatile, knuckle-headed criminal whose only future lay behind bars. 

Mondo supposed one was more accurate than the other. 

When Taka laughed out loud and clarified that Mondo’s assumption could not be further from the truth, they discovered they had a lot more in common than they thought. They were equally loud and passionate and enthusiastic, and it was that, what partly made them fight so viciously in the first place, that led to them becoming ‘kyoudais’. 

Their friendship improved each other. In cases where Mondo would have previously kicked some kid’s ass just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, he found he was getting soft, letting them go with a mumbled threat and a shove. His hot-headedness met Taka’s cool, measured approach, and together they reached a weird kind of equilibrium. 

But that wasn’t to say Taka couldn’t be just as fiery.

“Yasuhiro Hagakure!” He once bellowed in the hallway, making Mondo’s ears ring. “I know for a fact your Geometry tutoring started six minutes ago! Such tardiness is unacceptable first thing on a Monday!”

Hiro groaned theatrically, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Come on, Taka, I’m totally beat. I had to walk all the way to school because I got this insane prediction the bus driver was gonna fall asleep at the wheel!”

“If you were truly organised, you would have accounted enough time in your schedule to allow for such a possibility.”

“Duuuuude—!” Hiro had drawn out the word, clutching his hands together like he was begging. “Please, gimmie a break here! I hate detention almost as much as I hate dying in a hot, bloody bus crash!”

Mondo had snorted at the display, which made Taka purse his lips, his brows drawing even further together as he thought.

“I… I suppose I’d hate to make you any later than you already are.” He finally decided with a stiff jerk of the head. “Move along and get to where you’re going.”

Hiro blinked owlishly. “Hah? You’re… not writin’ me up?”

“Move along, Hiro!” Taka snapped, and he cracked a grin.

“T-Thanks, bro! I swear, I’ll never be late to anything ever again! On my life!” He sprinted past them with a suspicious amount of energy for someone who was meant to be exhausted, and Mondo smirked. 

Taka pointedly avoided his eyes. “I-It was only a minor violation.”

“Didn’t say anythin’.” Taka grumbled something else under his breath, and Mondo arched a brow. “What?”

“…I don’t like him calling me ‘bro’.” Taka decided out loud, looking up at him earnestly. “You’re my kyoudai, not him.”

At the time, Mondo had just laughed, placing a hand on his back as they walked together. But that was before he’d started to notice little things about Taka. Before he started making his stomach hurt.

The pair of them spent basically every second they could together. If there was a free period or a lunch break or a cancelled lesson, the rest of their class had come to expect that they would be joined at the hip somewhere in the school. Even when Taka had to study, Mondo was at his side. He’d usually just sit in comfortable silence while he worked, but sometimes, if he distracted him at just the right moment, he could get Taka to start talking about whatever he was reading that day. 

His eyes would go wide and round, cheeks tinged pink, and Mondo would watch his hands gesture wildly as he spoke. He’d always thought Taka had clever-looking hands, if that made sense. His fingers were long and nimble, knuckles straining prominently against pale, unmarked skin… Taka had hands that looked like they could do a few things at once, maybe like they even knew a trick or two…

Mondo had gone hot all over. Where the fuck did that come from?

Over the months, every time Mondo thought he finally had the guy down, Taka would surprise him with something else. He learned he was a decent cook; the guy could whip up a good meal with pretty much anything you handed him, remarking once it was a positive biproduct of growing up poor. He was annoyingly amazing at video games, despite having never played them before. He bopped his head when he listened to music, he was extremely sensitive to criticism, he couldn’t draw or sing or dance to save his fucking life (but still kicked Mondo’s ass in DDR).

Every time Mondo learned something new, he liked Taka even more. Mondo started doing little things like bringing him coffee in the mornings, or helping carry his books around school, since he wasn’t good with words and shit. Telling Taka out loud how much he appreciated him would come out all wrong, and he’d probably end up yelling and upsetting the guy. 

The errands didn’t go unnoticed, and Taka always responded with enthusiastic thanks, grinning like Mondo had opened up the Heavens for him. God, he was always so insanely grateful for such tiny things. Makoto once gifted him an old pair of trainers for gym when Taka had confessed he only had one pair of boots. Poor guy had cried so hard on his shoulder that Makoto’s hoodie was completely drenched. It was tragically adorable.

And when Mondo had told him about what he’d done to Daiya, a couple months back in the privacy of Taka’s home, he hadn’t been scared or hateful. He’d hugged him, cried with him, rubbed his back in small circles and led him to his bed when he couldn’t stop shaking. Mondo had woken hours later with his head on Taka’s chest, the latter clutching his hand like a lifeline. 

He caught himself missing him when he wasn’t around. Cancelling plans with the Diamonds to spend more time with him, counting down the hours till their next conversation. For the first time in his fucking life, Mondo actually had something he wanted to study. He wanted to unpack and analyse every inch of Kiyotaka, every thought, every dream, every hair on his perfect fucking head, tripping over the butterflies that swarmed in his stomach and falling comfortably into the curve of his smile. He wanted all of him, and wanted to give all of himself in return. For the first time in years, he thought he might actually want to be known. 

By the time he realised what was happening, it was too late to stop it, and Mondo was in love.

The realisation brought with it a familiar wash of self-loathing whenever Taka made that face that made his heart swell. He was too good for Mondo. Way, way too good. There was no ‘maybe’ about his future success; Taka was so absolute in his goals that if he wanted to be Prime Minister of Japan, that was exactly what he’d fucking be. And having a greasy gang member clinging to his arm wasn’t exactly gonna help him climb the political ladder.

After graduation, he’d go one way and Mondo would go another. And one day, he’d be a gang member or a carpenter or a fucking inmate, he didn’t know, watching his high school crush on TV, the most powerful man in the country, and he knew he’d be thanking God that he hadn’t done anything stupid to stand in his way.

But when he’d suggested what he did that night, it hadn’t been a spur of the moment thing. Mondo was startled to realise how much he meant it. Fuck, they were barely eighteen, they weren’t even together, and Mondo would agree to spend his life with Taka in a second. He would run away with him. He’d marry him.

Mondo had seen the look on Taka’s face the second the word ‘married’ left Mondo’s lips. He wasn’t stupid. He knew as well as he did it wasn’t possible. 

That night, Mondo rode home with a pit in his gut and tears pricking at his eyes, and lay in bed, caught between two daydreams. One was of PM Ishimaru the Second, looking all adult and proper in his fancy business suit. Making speeches, shaking hands, the picture of professionalism and integrity. 

The second was about the wet heat of Taka’s tongue. 

He didn’t get a wink of fucking sleep.

The next morning, Mondo sauntered into class five minutes late. It was physics, and he really needed to work on his physics, but he was also a very scary, very tough biker. Five minutes was still late. He was still cool. Their teacher didn’t even acknowledge him, which would have irked him more if he wasn’t so distracted by somebody else. 

Taka sat in the front row, writing furiously quick with his back ramrod straight. Mondo wasn’t sure how he’d ever look at him the same now he’d felt the muscles in that back for himself. Taka glanced up at him, faltering for just a moment, before his gaze dropped back down to the desk. 

Yep, he was pissed. He had every right to be. He’d trusted Mondo enough to get drunk, make himself vulnerable, and Mondo had gone and kissed him! He was lucky if Taka ever spoke to him again.

He dropped into a desk at the back of the class, and Chihiro turned to whisper over his shoulder. “Hey, where were you last night? I messaged you a bunch of times, but you didn’t respond.”

“Sorry, Chi,” he muttered, eyes fixed on the back of Taka’s head. “I was out.”

The smaller boy pursed his lips, frowning. “With the Diamonds?”

“Nah. Someone else.” 

Chihiro scrunched up his face a little, before apparently deciding it wasn’t worth dwelling on, and turned back in his seat.

The whole day, Mondo couldn’t tell if Taka was avoiding him, or if he was avoiding Taka. When he sat down for lunch, Taka was just finishing up. Taka would exit a classroom, and Mondo ducked into another at the same time. 

The next day, Mondo saw him once in the hallway and didn’t make eye contact.

And the day after that, he didn’t see him at all.

After a full ten days of no contact, Mondo was drowning. He missed Taka like crazy. He missed his voice, his smile, his stupid fucking unwavering faith in his sorry ass and every other loser around him. It took everything in Mondo not to just walk right up to Taka’s desk, yank him up by his blazer and kiss his stupid stubborn lips, declaring his love in front of the whole class and begging him not to hate him. But he couldn’t. And Taka did hate him. Mondo hadn’t felt this lost since… since Aniki… 

Fuck, he was the worst. 

His bones felt hollow from loneliness, but every time he heard the familiar stomp of Taka’s boots, the bark of his voice, he froze up and ran the other way. Mondo was terrified at the idea of Taka noticing him in the halls and giving him a pitiful rejection. Mondo already knew he’d been turned down, but hearing it out loud, from the love of his fucking life… it would be too much for him. He was too weak. The worst.

Over the week, the rest of their class had noticed their absence from each other, since they were usually so close, but one glare from Mondo and none of them said a word. 

Except for Chihiro. 

“Alright,” he said, plopping himself down in front of Mondo in Tuesday’s last period. He was sat alone in the cafeteria, feet on the table, phone in hand. He’d hoped that was enough to get people to leave him be. He was wrong. “What happened?”

“The fuck you talkin’ about, Chi?” 

“I’m talking about how you and Ishimaru have been dodging each other for over a week now, and it’s making you both miserable.” 

Mondo’s jaw ticked. Little bastard was getting too confident for his own good; he was as proud as he was annoyed. 

…Wait. “Taka’s miserable?”

“Uh, duh?” Chihiro huffed, folding his arms. “He keeps moping around with that sad puppy face and zoning out mid conversation. Makoto says he bombed that biology test he was working so hard on.”

“Shit, he did?” Mondo knew how bad Taka took this kinda stuff… any grade he wasn’t happy with sent him spiralling into an episode that started with uncontrollable sobbing, and ended with him overworking himself even worse than usual. Mondo had seen it first hand, and his heart hurt at the thought of it ever happening again. Fuck, he was such an ass. 

“Well, he bombed it in a Taka way, which is still almost top of the class. I’m pretty sure he got at least a B.” Chihiro assured him. It didn’t really help. “Plus he won’t stop staring at you in class instead of taking notes, which is seriously worrying. You know he loves his notes.”

Mondo sat up straighter. “He was staring?”

“Oh my God, you are so obvious,” he giggled, and Mondo’s face clouded over.

“I ain’t fuckin’ obvious!”

“Mon, you have cartoon hearts floating above you right now,” Chihiro laughed, even when Mondo leaned over to punch his shoulder. Fuck, had everybody else guessed his crush too!? He hadn’t even told anyone, except Kuwata in the cafeteria one morning when the dumbass wouldn’t leave him be till he confessed. Then Taka had gone and walked in bein’ all cute and shit, and he had to lie about bein’ sick to cover his ass! 

Still, having his friend dote on him all day with homemade meals and damp cloths against his forehead was… not terrible… although he’d done it all based on a lie, and didn’t have a clue about the gratification Mondo was getting from it. He was so going to hell.

Chihiro was fixing him with a playful look across the table. “Seriously though, what happened? Seeing you guys not talking is like… almost as weird as when you started talking.” Mondo sucked his teeth, planting his feet back on the floor. “Did you do something stupid?”

“Kinda goes without sayin’,” he muttered. “…I think I really fucked it, Chi.” 

Chihiro bit his lip. “Hm. Well, I’m sure it can’t be as bad as you think. Not to be rude, but you do have a flair for the dramatic when it comes to your screw-ups.”

“I mighta proposed.”

There was a pause. “Ah…” Chihiro seemed speechless for the first time in a long while. “I mean… you can play that kind of thing off as a joke, right? You could say it was like a platonic proposal!”

“Yeah, but we were sorta makin’ out when I asked.”

“Huh?”

“And I also feel bad because that probably wouldn’t have happened if he was sober.”

“…I…” Chihiro gaped at him, open mouthed, before practically leaping over the table and shaking Mondo by the shirt. “Why didn’t you lead with all that!?”

“Fuck’s sake, dude, keep ya voice down!” Mondo hissed, shoving his hands away. “It’s a long story –”

“Taka got drunk!? How the heck did that even happen? Was it an accident?”

“I mean, kinda? I gave him a little drink but…” He trailed off. “Wait. That’s your big take away from what I just told ya? Taka was drunk?”

“Yes!” Chihiro looked at him like he was stupid. “The guy carries a ruler around for measuring hoop earrings to make sure people aren’t breaking dress code. Going out drinking on a school night really doesn’t seem like him.”

“I dunno. He was feelin’ impulsive, or something.” Probably for the first time in his damn life. Taka had looked so happy that night, so open, and that cherry coke made his mouth taste so sweet…

Mondo sunk his face into his hands. “So the fact Taka was tipsy is less believable than the fact we made out?”

“Well, it’s you guys.”

He blinked at him through his fingers. “Yeah?”

“You know, you’re…” The smaller man laughed. “You’re joking, aren’t you?”

“No! No, I’m not fuckin’ jokin’! What the fuck is so funny!?”

“It’s insanely obvious that you’re crazy about each other!” Chihiro exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in defeat. “Come on! Making him coffee in the mornings, actually putting effort into your schoolwork, snuggling up to him in the dorms…”

“What!? No, I mean –!” Mondo felt himself blushing furiously, tripping over his words. “Taka’s my friend.”

“Of course he is. But now he means more than that, and you know it!” His voice turned softer. “I know how much this sucks. How hard it must be to be so close to him and be constantly wanting more, however avoiding him is not the answer. It’s just gonna make you both unhappy.”

Mondo stared down at his lap. At first, he thought to lie. Tell Chi he was crazy for even suggesting it, that Taka was just his annoyingly loud, annoyingly sweet, annoyingly really fucking attractive best friend, and that was all he needed him to be. He’d done so much for Mondo already. Asking any more from him would be selfish. 

“…I dunno what I’m gonna do,” was what he said instead. “Do you think we can go back to how it was?”

“Yes, I think you could.” Chihiro nodded. “I don’t think you want to.”

Mondo chuckled softly. “It ain’t about want.” He paused, thinking the other would say something more. He didn’t. “Look, he’s got that whole prime minister schtick, don’t he? I don’t fit anywhere in that plan, and he’s sure as fuck not gonna change it.”

“Ishimaru knows it won’t be easy.” Chihiro fidgeted with the hem of his cardigan, rolling it between his fingers. “His stupid grandpa means the odds are stacked against him from the start. But a Hope’s Peak graduate standing for election, not to mention the Ultimate Moral Compass? The second he opens his mouth, they’ll be tripping over themselves to vote for him!” 

Mondo bit the inside of his cheek. “You really think he’ll stand a chance gettin’ elected if I’m with him? Someone who runs a gang, and went to juvie and…” He bit harder. “…is a dude?”

A silence stretched between them, where neither boy knew what to say. It was a good point, one that couldn’t be sugar-coated. The world could still be cruel. It could seriously affect Taka’s chances.

“I think this conversation would be going a lot smoother if he wasn’t kept out of it.” Chihiro said finally. “You won’t get anywhere by guessing what he’s thinking.”

Yeah, that… made sense. Chi was right. 

Mondo had to go. 

“Thank a lot, man,” he stammered, already stumbling to his feet and grabbing his phone. “Look, I don’t wanna be an asshole, but uh –”

Chihiro giggled. “No, please don’t let me stop you. Go get your sweetheart.”

Mondo flushed. “Y-yeah. Thanks.” He went to leave when Chihiro stopped him with a hand on his sleeve.

“You know, if it isn’t you with him, it’ll just be some hypothetical guy he meets down the road. And he’ll probably be nice enough and take care of him just fine, but…” He smiled brightly. “I think Taka would much prefer if it was you.”

Mondo took a shaky breath. Released it. “Guess we’ll find out,” he said quickly, before sprinting out the door and through the halls to get to his bike. 

Taka wasn’t there to yell at him for it.

Inside the apartment complex, Mondo managed to knock on the wrong door twice before some helpful direction from the neighbours pointed him to the apartment on the first floor. Man, he must be nervous if he’d managed to forget the number. He’d been to Taka’s place a few times before, to keep him company when his dad wasn’t home for days on end. It wasn’t his fault; the guy basically worked himself to the bone at his job, and got so caught up he genuinely didn’t notice how much time had passed. Guess it runs in the family.

Mondo knocked three times before someone finally answered. The man was in his late forties, early fifties, with harsh lines on his forehead and a scowl that looked permanent. He was a little taller than Taka, but still had to look up at Mondo, red eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Can I help you?”

Yeah, this was definitely Mr Ishimaru.

“Is Taka there?”

His dad blinked at the nickname. “How do you know my son?”

Jesus, those eyes were kinda scary. “Um, I’m a friend. From school.”

“You go to Hope’s Peak?”

“Yeah. I mean, yes, sir.” Sir? Fucking hell, not even dating him yet and already he’s trying to suck up to the parents! 

Taka’s dad glanced him up and down, still scowling, before shutting the door in his face. Mondo waited, and just when he thought no one was coming back, the door opened again.

Taka’s face appeared wearing a polite smile. It quickly fell. “Oh,” he said. “Hello.”

“Hey.” 

There was a moment of awkward hesitation. “I, uh…” Taka shifted in the doorway. “What are you doing here?”

“I gotta talk to you. I know you’re probably busy with work and stuff and I shoulda just done it tomorrow, but...” Mondo avoided his eyes, huge and slightly bloodshot. His cheeks were red. He’d been crying. “I really, really need to talk to you. It can’t wait.” 

Taka bit his lip, glancing in the apartment behind him, before opening the door and beckoning him inside. Mondo stepped in, taking in the familiar sparse living room. The ceiling was too low. It felt claustrophobic.

“Father, this is Mondo Owada,” Taka introduced him to the man who was now shrugging on a black coat, squinting up at the newcomer. “He’s my classmate.” Classmate. Ouch.

His dad kept scowling at Mondo, and he realised that scowl was mostly directed towards his biker jacket. Shit, the jacket! The guy was a fucking cop, of course he recognised a gang member when he saw one! Mondo was so stupid.

“He’s harmless,” Taka said reassuringly. “We’re… actually rather close.” Hm. A little vague, but close was better than classmate, he guessed.

“Is he staying long?”

Taka looked up at Mondo questioningly. He shook his head. “No. We’ll keep it short.”

His dad just hummed. “We need milk. I’ll give you some space,” he muttered, giving Mondo one more glance over. “You call me if you need me, Kiyotaka.”

“Of course, father.” Taka smiled falsely as he led Mondo into his bedroom, the door closing behind them. A moment later, they heard the front door shut as well.

The room was the same as he remembered it. Neat and tidy, crisp sheets, desk covered in paper and pens and open textbooks. The red jacket Taka was wearing that night was hanging on the back of his chair. 

Taka looked between Mondo and the desk, before sitting down hesitantly on the edge of the bed. “Sorry, I don’t have two chairs.”

“S’fine.” Mondo sat beside him, sure to put some distance between them, and tried not to think about the last time they’d been on his bed together. He’d told him how his brother had died, and woke up the next morning nuzzling into Taka’s chest. Aniki would have probably been over the moon for him to ‘finally get some action, Mon!’ – he’d always used the word ‘action’ very loosely. Mondo had a lot of mixed memories of Daiya, but he tended to focus on the good ones.

“So, what would you like to talk about?” Taka spoke like they were in a business meeting, folding his hands in his lap. His nails were still painted black. It suited him. Really suited him.

Stop looking at his hands and answer, you creep!

“Heard your test didn’t go great.”

No! Answer with the fucking truth!

“Ah,” Taka laughed shortly, trying to seem indifferent, but his eyes were still wet and puffy. “No, it didn’t. I must have overworked myself or… something.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” Mondo felt his cheeks flush, ashamed. He was pretty sure he could guess what actually had him so distracted. “Um, but there was something else I wanted to talk about.” Taka just looked at him expectantly. “…That night? Last week?”

“Right. Yes.” The other boy nodded slowly. “I admit, when I didn’t see you around school, I assumed you didn’t want to discuss it.”

“Nah, you were right, I didn’t. But I talked to Chi and he changed my mind.”

“I see.” His voice was even. Calm.

“Alright,” Mondo shifted uncomfortably, and cleared his throat. “Look, I had a lotta fun. It was a really good night, and I… know how much you needed it. But, dude, that kiss was –”

“Mondo,” Taka said gently. His voice shook. “If you just came here to tell me that we’re not friends anymore, it wasn’t necessary. I had already come to that conclusion myself.”

“Wh- wait, what?”

Taka was looking at him like it was obvious, trying to keep his expression neutral despite the tears that were already welling back up. “I soiled our friendship by kissing you, and then we didn’t speak for ten days. You want nothing more to do with me, and that’s completely understandable. I don’t resent you for it.”

“Taka, for fuck’s sake, are ya stupid!?” Mondo spoke louder than he intended, and Taka winced. “Sorry,” he muttered. “But it takes two to fuckin’ tango. I kissed you too.”

“I kissed you first.”

“Well, I kissed you second!”

“Well, I put my tongue –!” Taka stopped himself, face flushing bright pink and turning swiftly away from Mondo, staring straight ahead. 

“…Did I take advantage?” Mondo asked quietly. He looked down at his shoes. “I mean, you had been drinkin’, and…”

“No.” It was jarring to hear Taka’s voice so soft. He’d gotten used to his volume. “I wanted you to. I’ve been – I mean, that was not the… the first time I’d thought about it.”

“Oh,” was all he said, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, well, I have too. Been thinking about it.”

“For how long?”

“I dunno,” Mondo fidgeted where he sat. “A long time. I dunno.”

“Why on earth didn’t you say anything?” 

Mondo frowned. “Because you didn’t say anythin’!”

“Because I was certain that you would not be interested! You’re so…!” Taka threw his hands about, gesturing to all of Mondo. “And I’m…” He shrugged, shoulders sagging. “I can’t put it into words.”

Mondo blinked rapidly, slowly rising to his feet. “Are you sayin’ you thought I was out of your league?”

“More or less.” He looked up at him nervously. “I mean, you’re far more attractive than I am, and I don’t just mean that physically. You’re the type of person I could never be good enough for.”

Never be… good enough? Mondo felt himself twitch as his anger started to flair. “Are you makin’ fun of me?”

Taka frowned. “No, of course not.” 

“That has got to be the dumbest shit you’ve ever said, and Jesus, dude, you have had some doozies!”

Taka scowled at that, offended, and jumped to his feet. “What exactly is so ‘dumb’ about my insecurities?”

“Are you kiddin’? You’re too fuckin’ good for me, Kiyo!” Mondo yelled, throwing his hands up in defeat. “You ever wondered why people thought it was so weird when we became friends? It’s ‘cause you’re so fuckin’ far above me, it’s stupid to think you’d want anythin’ to do with me! Why the fuck would a future prime minister wanna hang out with a stupid fuckin’ grease monkey!? That’s what they’re all thinkin’, and they’re right!” Mondo set his jaw, glaring down at his feet, and exhaled sharply. “You shouldn’t like me, man… it just don’t make sense. I ain’t worth nothin’.”

Mondo didn’t know what to expect when he looked up at Taka. He maybe expected tears, either from sadness or from joy to be let off the hook. Or his face could be completely neutral, giving Mondo a nod and agreeing politely before they went their separate ways once and for all.

Taka did not look any of these things. 

Taka looked furious.

Mondo felt his stomach lurch. Shit. Shit, shit, shit, not now. Not here. The room started to fade to patchy spots of black, the floor like jelly beneath his feet. He was gonna puke. Wait, no, he was crying. He couldn’t breathe. Fuck, he –

He had to get out.

Mondo scrambled for the door and yanked it open. Taka was saying something, something that sounded urgent, but he could barely hear him over his desperate pulse, the rush of blood in his ears. He stumbled over his own feet, legs heavy and clumsy, and at the brush of Taka’s hand against his wrist, Mondo’s body seemed to collapse in on itself, and he crumpled to the carpet, wailing against his knees. It was pathetic. He was pathetic, crying on the floor like a little fucking baby. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic –!

“Mondo, what can I do?”

Taka’s voice was clearer than it was before, but still faint. “W-What?” Mondo’s voice trembled as badly as he did. He couldn’t stop shaking. Was he dying?

“What can I do?”

He needed Taka to stop looking at him like that. Like he mattered. Like every second he spent in agony was just as painful for him too. Why couldn’t Mondo stop hurting him? 

“…’s too bright,” he mumbled. It sounded watery. 

Taka stood, and there were footsteps, and then the lights switched off. “Better?”

That was better. He was nice. He was too nice. “I’m gonna be sick.”

“Ah…! One moment!” There was a flash of white uniform when he darted across the room, and a small trashcan was shoved in Mondo’s lap just in time for him to start retching. He puked until he was heaving fresh air, and he had an ugly trail of bile and saliva running from his lips to his jaw. He spat. Taka had been holding his hair back.

“Sorry.” The room was still spinning. Why didn’t he feel any better? Now he just felt miserable and gross. He was still sobbing. 

Taka took the trashcan from him slowly, and a pair of gentle hands was suddenly under his armpits, guiding him up into a seating position on a couch that was too hard. A rough tissue dragged across his face, wiping his chin clean of vomit. Mondo squirmed slightly at the contact, closing his eyes and drawing his knees to his chest so he was curled into a ball. 

“I’m going to get you some water,” Taka said softly, rubbing his shoulder. Oh, that felt good. He hoped he did that again. 

A minute later, there was a glass against his lips, and Mondo tilted his head back to drink. Taka was even holding it for him. He didn’t deserve someone so nice. He’d just hurt him again. He’d break him and ruin him like he ruined everything, like he ruined Aniki –

He whined. It was a low, pathetic sound, like a wounded animal, and Mondo hated that it came from him. Taka sat beside him, and then the room was tilting on its side, one arm around his waist and the other tangled in what was loose of his hair. Mondo’s head was in Taka’s lap, his fingers rubbing against his scalp. He released a slow breath, body going lax. Taka touched him so gently, in a way that Mondo thought he shouldn’t be handled. He should be punched, beaten, slapped hard on the back. Not cradled and lulled to sleep. That shit was for girls, not men, and that was something he had believed for as long as he could remember. But if it was true, why was it… so nice? It wasn’t fair. Why wasn’t he allowed to feel like this?

Mondo’s heart slowed, and realised the room was still again. He was crying, so it was blurry, but at least his grip on reality was back. He wasn’t dying anymore. Taka was still stroking his hair. “Kyoudai?”

“It’s okay,” Taka replied smoothly. “You had a panic attack. You’re safe now.”

It wasn’t the first time this had happened in front of him, and Mondo was grimly aware that it probably wouldn’t be the last. It wasn’t like Taka was a stranger to meltdowns, and his own emotional outbursts way outnumbered Mondo’s. He envied Taka’s ability to pick himself back up, even after episodes that lasted hours. Mondo felt exhausted for weeks after.

His nose wrinkled. “Smells.”

“Ah, sorry that’s… probably the vomit. I’ll take it outside.”

“Wait, Kiyo, I…” Mondo was aware how embarrassing the request was, and he couldn’t really give a shit. “Can you stay a little longer?”

“Yes, of course.” Taka’s voice was light. He stroked Mondo’s hair so fondly, despite his previous comments about how dry and damaged it was. This wasn’t right. He was Mondo fucking Owada, Ultimate Biker Gang Leader. He wasn’t some fucking house cat that stretched out on the couch, and –!

Ugh, fuck it. He was too cosy to care. It was a dangerous thought, but Mondo couldn’t help but notice how… domestic this felt. He wished very day could be like this. 

Then he remembered the angry look on Taka’s face before the room started melting.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked.

There was a pause where he felt Taka release a slow breath, but he never stopped running his hair between his fingers, working out a few kinks and curls in his dark roots while avoiding the pompadour. “I am. But now is not the time.”

“Why’re you doin’ this?” Mondo’s words slurred together slightly. He had to fight to keep his eyes open, now the adrenaline was wearing off and the movement of Taka’s hand was rendering him boneless. “If you’re that mad at me, you shoulda let me go.”

“I could never,” was the quiet response he got.

“But I hurt you.”

“You did.” There was a sniffle above him. “And you’re my best friend. I could never let you go when… when you’re in that state.”

Mondo chuckled weakly. “Yeah. You’re not the type to let anyone.”

“You especially, however.” Taka felt the need to clarify forcefully. The hand in Mondo’s hair slowed. “You especially.”

Mondo grunted and shifted, and with great effort forced his head off Taka’s lap. The other wiped his eyes quickly, stifling another sniff. As if his bright red nose wouldn’t give away the fact he’d been crying. Mondo wanted to kiss it, but instead took another drink of water, sloshing it around his mouth a little and wincing at the taste.

He went to the dim bathroom at Taka’s direction to brush his teeth, finding the spare toothbrush in the cabinet where he said it’d be. The sharp mint made him feel more alert, less sluggish, and he rinsed his face and hands under the cold tap for good measure. Hm. Still totally exhausted, but less numb and much less gross. It was better than nothing.

When Mondo got back, there was a fresh trash bag in the can, and Taka was opening some windows to get the smell out. When he heard him approaching, he turned with a nod and a small smile, but there was something sad in it. Not pity, that would have pissed Mondo off. Was it… empathy? Concern? He couldn’t tell. “How are you feeling?” 

“Better. Thanks.”

“Excellent. I’m glad.” Taka kept his gaze on the ground, shifting his feet awkwardly. “T-Then if this is still an appropriate time, and you still wish to talk, then I have a lot of things I need to say to you, Mondo.” His voice was almost his usual, no-nonsense tone; at least, the volume matched. 

“Yeah, same here,” he muttered back chuckling, when Taka took his hand and led him back to his bedroom. Mondo felt himself blush, despite everything. The guy had been stroking his hair five minutes ago, but holding his hand was making him freak out? “U-Uh, where we goin’?”

Taka looked at him like he was crazy, shutting the door behind them. “To talk? In private. I wouldn’t want my father to return mid-conversation and hear anything… u-untoward.”

“Oh. Right, yeah.” Smooth, Mondo. I’m sure he’s real hot for you after cleaning up your puke, you fucking idiot. He tried not to be disappointed when Taka released his hand, and started nervously pacing his bedroom, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “Taka?”

“I-I have a great deal many things to say regarding your earlier statements about our… our friendship,” Taka’s voice shook slightly, and he cleared his throat, standing to attention like a soldier. “And I do not wish for these things to become confused or minimised, which I fear they may if I am forced to indulge your no doubt incessant interjections. Therefore, I must politely request that when I begin speaking, you are not to interrupt me until you are certain I am finished. Is that understood, kyoudai?”

Mondo couldn’t help but feel a brief smile tug on his lips at the return of Taka’s familiar strong tone. He could just hear him start yelling about headphones and vape pens at the school entrance. “Alright. I promise.”

“Thank you.” He didn’t return the smile. “I am angry about what you said, Mondo. Very angry.”

Mondo’s smile dropped.

Taka was scowling more fiercely than Mondo had ever seen before, eyes practically burning. “How dare you tell me who I should or should not like, or what I should or should not be feeling? You have no right to tell me that! I can become friends with whomever I choose to! I’m very sorry if you care that much about others’ opinions, and if that’s really the case, then you never have to be seen with me again, but I don’t share that concern.” 

Taka pointed a finger in Mondo’s face. It shook as much as his voice, like he was trying to keep himself from crying again. 

“In addition, note that my political aspirations are no one’s business but my own. Frankly, if somebody finds that my association with Mondo Owada is enough to lose their vote, then it was not a vote I wanted in the first place! Not to mention with my family’s reputation and relative poverty, in the kindest way possible, said association becomes somewhat insignificant in comparison to those obstacles!” 

Mondo stood there, frozen. He wouldn’t say a word even if it was possible to get one in edgeways. Just stood motionless, watching the boy in front of him.

“And furthermore, if it was true that you were a ‘stupid grease monkey’, as you eloquently put it, then I would not have befriended you in the first place. I know that my first impression of you was not the most favourable, and I said many things that I have since recanted, but you proved that there was more to you than that! And it breaks my heart every time you talk about yourself like you’re nothing!”

Tears finally spilled, rolling down red, angry cheeks. Mondo’s hands itched to wipe them away, to hold Taka in his arms till his sobs subsided. 

“I befriended you because you’re not a ‘stupid grease monkey’! You are far more intelligent than you give yourself credit for, you’re fiercely loyal, you put all of yourself into the things that you care about, and you’re honest, and you’re good, and damn it, at least you’re always trying!”

Taka paused, choosing his words carefully before continuing.

“And I know you blame yourself for what happened to Daiya. And I know no matter how many times I repeat it, you may never come to believe me, but it wasn’t your fault, Mondo. It was an accident, a terrible accident. And you could have left. You could have left your brother on the side of the road, but you stayed, and you held him, and you cried for him, and you didn’t let him go no matter how hard it was to watch because you’re a good person, kyoudai, and you would do anything for the people who matter!”

Mondo was crying again. He didn’t make any effort to stop it.

“I understand why you feel you should push me away, but you’re wrong. So don’t you dare try to tell me that I’ll lose votes, or that people will judge, or that you’re worth nothing! Nothing – for God’s sake, Mondo, you are... you are everything to me!”

Taka stood with his feet planted in place, his whole body shaking with release. Then he seemed to snap out of whatever red haze had taken over, and gasped. “Mondo... kyoudai, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, please don’t cry —!”

It only took two quick steps for Mondo to close the distance between them, and crash their lips together. 

It was sloppy and graceless, as both men were still sobbing and Mondo’s aim hadn’t exactly been fantastic, but Taka’s arms wrapped around his waist, and Mondo’s were in his hair, and shit, he was so fucking warm. He had already started to forget what he tasted like, and he made a silent vow to never do that again.

They parted, and Taka sniffled. “I-I, um...” He was trembling badly, hands fisting in Mondo’s jacket. “That was nice.”

“Yeah. It was.” Mondo stroked the back of his head, toying with a spikey lock between his fingers.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped back there.”

“You say that too much,” Mondo’s voice was barely more than a rumble in his chest. “It’s okay. I needed to hear it.” 

There was a minute of peace in the previously loud room, the only sound a pair of slow breaths and the odd sniff or muffled sob. Mondo closed his eyes, holding Taka against his chest carefully, like if he held him too tight the tenderness of the moment would shatter. Watched the shorter man sink into him, going almost boneless in his embrace. “You do it too, y’know.”

“Hm?” Taka sounded half asleep.

“Treat yourself like you’re nothin’. You do it.”

“I do?”

“Well, nah, not like nothin’. More like, uh… a houseplant.”

Taka chuckled at that, the sound stifled against Mondo’s jacket. “A houseplant?”

“Y-Y’know what I mean,” Mondo blushed at how stupid the metaphor was. “Ya only function on water and sunlight. The essential stuff.”

“What’s the issue?” Taka toyed with the hem of the jacket, running his hand over the gold embroidery. 

“The issue is that you’re not a plant, you’re a person. And people need other stuff,” Mondo grazed the other’s face with his knuckle, catching a stray tear. “We need down time. Stuff we do for no reason other than it feels good.”

“I’d say treating myself as a plant is better than nothing,” Taka murmured. “At least a plant is alive.”

“Well, you fuckin’ deserve more than to just be alive. You deserve to be happy. And you shouldn’t feel like you have to constantly prove yourself just because ya stupid grandpa fucked up.” Taka was looking at him with confusion, and Mondo sighed. “If ya didn’t have the top grades, and ya never got into Hope’s Peak, and ya weren’t ever gonna be prime minister one day, what would be left of you that you think actually matters?”

Taka looked ashamed of his answer. “…Nothing.”

Mondo released a slow breath, stroking his back. “You’re worth more than all those bullshit expectations you put on yourself. It ain’t your responsibility to patch up some old dick’s mistakes.” There was a pause between them, when Taka started chuckling. Mondo felt himself blush darker. “W-What?”

“See, I was right!” Taka poked the spot between Mondo’s eyebrows. “Intelligent.”

Mondo snorted, catching his hand in his own. “Nah, bro. I just love you is all, and it’s tough to see you bein’ so rough on yourself all the time.”

Taka’s eyebrows shot right up to his hairline, and Mondo took a second for his brain to catch up with his mouth. “Ah—! That is, I mean... um...” 

What the fuck was he meant to say!? He couldn’t go on and start taking it back, that would make it even worse! That kiss spoke for itself, he guessed, so confessing his crush was pointless now, but Jesus, a love confession!? Taka hadn’t even said he wanted to date him! Fuck, fuck, fuck! 

Taka searched his eyes for a moment, thumb stroking the back of Mondo’s hand absent-mindedly, before he spoke. “I love you as well.”

Fuck. “You do?”

“Well, I suppose I’ve loved you since we became friends,” Taka furrowed his brow. “But then it – it sort of shifted. It didn’t become any less or more significant, it just felt special. Like a best friend, but… different.” He beamed up at Mondo, eyes shining. “I suppose that must have been when I transitioned from loving you to being in love with you!”

Mondo took a moment to catch his breath, before grinning and pressing their foreheads together. “Kiyo, you’re such a dork.”

Taka gave a startled laugh. “A-And you’re in love with me too?”

The taller man opened his eyes, taking in Taka’s blown out pupils, soft lips stretched into an eager, hopeful smile. 

Mondo chuckled. “Shit, how could I not be?”

Taka grinned like he could hear the hallelujah chorus, and fresh tears spilled onto his cheeks. “Good! Good, that’s… excellent news.” He shifted, holding both Mondo’s hands in his own. “May I kiss you again?”

At his nod, Taka leaned up on his tiptoes to do just that. It was every bit as intoxicating as their first – well, maybe their second. The first ended a little soon for Mondo’s liking. 

Taka kissed the same way he did anything else. With enthusiasm and passion, and was surprisingly responsive to the subtle cues that Mondo was putting out. He eased off when the other needed to take a breath, kissed just the right spot under Mondo’s ear that made him squirm, made the most adorably eager hums when Mondo’s tongue met his. It was the best feeling in the world. Fuck his stupid bike. Shit didn’t even compare.

When Taka pulled back, they were both panting and red-faced, and at some point or another had wound up sat on the edge of his bed. 

“I like that a lot,” Taka whispered in a tone that made Mondo ache to pull him flush against him.

“S-Same here,” was all he could say. His hand was on Taka’s waist, the other steadying himself on the bed. Both of Taka’s were tangled in his hair for the second time that day. “So...” Mondo kicked his legs a little awkwardly. “Does this mean that we’re like, a couple now?”

Taka shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’ve never been a part of a couple before.” His lips twisted thoughtfully, brow furrowing. “How would that work?”

“Not much would change, really,” Mondo was embarrassed to say. Chihiro was right; they were totally obvious. “We‘d still hang out like we always have. We’d spend time together and talk and have lunch and stuff.” 

“Except now we get to kiss?” Taka asked, perking up with excitement like little Chuck used to when he smelled bacon. He was too cute. Mondo was going to die. 

“Yeah, pretty much,” he confirmed, smiling. “And we’d get to hug more. Although we... also did that a lot anyways.”

“Can we hold hands? Couples do that, don’t they?” 

Mondo hesitated. “Ah, I mean... there might actually be a time and a place for this kinda stuff.”

“Kyoudai, I assure you,” Taka’s face was suddenly dead serious. “Regardless of my excitement at this development in our relationship, I would never participate in PDA on school grounds.”

Mondo snorted. “I don’t doubt ya, but that’s not what I meant.” He looked down at his hand on Taka’s waist. “Look, we’re gonna have to be more careful now, y’know? We might have a harder time of it than other couples. So if you wanna keep this between us for a bit, I get it.”

Taka nodded, understanding. Then he seemed to come to a decision. “I don’t want to. I love you, Mondo. And I am not willing to compromise on my feelings for the comfort of the closed-minded.” 

“You... wanna tell people?” 

“I do.” He nodded resolutely. “My father has an understanding of these things. I predict he’ll initially be surprised but ultimately content with it. Frankly, I’d been planning to tell him sooner rather than later and this is as good an excuse as any.” His tone shifted. “But if you’d prefer we kept it secret for your sake, then of course I will respect your wishes.”

“Nah, bro, fuckin’ go for it!” Mondo exclaimed, sounding way too keen and finding he didn’t give a shit. He’d spent way too long trying to shove these feelings down in front of their friends, and doing a really shitty job of it according to Chi. Now they were official, he couldn’t wait to show Taka off.

“But what about your gang?”

“The Diamonds ain’t cavemen, ya know,” he knocked gently on Taka’s forehead to illustrate his point. “I got a coupla’ members who like dudes.”

“Oh! I admit, I find that surprising,” Taka blinked, before smiling. “Here I thought you’d taught me a valuable lesson about assumptions.”

“Dunno what you mean, rich boy.”

He scowled at the reference to their first impressions, bonking Mondo’s forehead in the same manner he had earlier, and Mondo responded by tackling him to the bed in a headlock, the two of them wrestling and trashing against each other until they tumbled onto the carpet, dragging a sheet down with them and cackling like little kids the whole time. 

They lay side by side on the carpet as their laughter died down, and Mondo was reminded of earlier in the week, lying on his bed after dinner, their heads hanging upside down over the edge and staring at the wall. 

“So, what’s the plan then?” He asked softly. “We America-bound, or goin’ for Japan’s first queer Prime Minister?”

Taka leaned his head against Mondo’s shoulder. “I don’t want to think about that.”

Mondo arched a brow. “Really? You?”

“If I’m always looking ahead to the future, I’ll never have the chance to enjoy this,” his voice was quiet. “We’ll be eighteen this year. Our childhoods will soon be over, and I’ve wasted most of mine by worrying about whatever’s coming next.”

“You ain’t wasted it,” Mondo assured him, and Taka shook his head.

“I don’t regret my dedication to my studies. I may have been forced to sacrifice my social life, but I consider it worthy. If I hadn’t worked so hard that I got into Hope’s Peak, I would never have met you, would I?” He smiled. “But now I’d like to slow down for a while. Savour what’s happening in the present before… anything changes.”

“Sounds like a plan.” There was a pause between them. “I meant what I said that night, by the way. About… gettin’ married.”

“I thought you might.” Taka didn’t sound surprised.

“So what do ya think?”

There was a stifled laugh beside him. “If didn’t know any better, Mondo Owada, I’d think you were proposing.”

“No!” Mondo almost choked, shaking his head vigorously. “No, I’m not! And I wasn’t then either, I’m just… just thinkin’ out loud.”

“About marriage?”

“Naw, about us.”

“Oh? And what about ‘us’?” 

Mondo bit the inside of his cheek. “…Do…ya think we’ll always be together?”

Taka sighed gently, shifting so he was curled against Mondo and his head rested on his chest, rising and falling as he breathed. “We’re together now.”

Mondo paused, before smiling widely. “Yeah. Yeah, guess we are.” 

Whatever happened next, they were together now. 

Now was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long while since I had a panic attack so apologies if the portrayal wasn't as accurate as it could have been. I'm also prone to motion sickness, so it's possible not all attacks are quite like how I described, but the worst of mine certainly could be.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading my first fic! I appreciate criticism and apologise for typos :)


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